welcome to My totally-pointless 'About' Page.
Scroll down for answers. Sort of.
👀 Who am I?
Good question. Still figuring it out.
What do I do?
Well… this, apparently.
How long have I been doing it?
For too long.
Why do I do it?
Because somebody had to. Or maybe nobody had tO ?
What inspires me?
People scrolling.
Am I any good at it ?
Well, you’re still here, aren’t you?
So, why hire me?
For reasons.
Keep scrolling if you’re looking for more answers.
Otherwise, here’s my LinkedIn button.
Looking for more
answers, aren’t you ?
Well, keep scrolling.
Yeah, that’s it.
Scroll until your
finger gets tired.
Keep going.
Maybe you'll discover life's meaning in this endless scroll.
Or perhaps the secret to why people put pineapple on pizza.
Spoiler alert: You won’t.
It’s Just an infinite nonsense.
You really love scrolling, huh?
Check out this site MADE just for you.
Still here?
Wow, you really have time to waste.
Keep scrolling if you expect something to happen.
Spoiler alert N°2 :
nothing will.
You must be dedicated to this quest for… nothingness.
Why don’t you do
something useful?
Like donating to a charity?
Well done! You've done your good deed.
Now, let’s spice things up! Scroll down as we count from 100 to zero
100… One hundred.
99… Almost there.
98… Oh, this is going to be so much fun!
97… Keep going!
96… are you still
hoping for a plot twist?
95… Plot twist: there is no plot twist.
94… Seriously, why are you still here?
93… This is a useless way to spend your time.
92… By now, you could’ve… read a phone book!
91… BUT you Keep scrolling.
90… You’re doing it!
89… It’s like watching paint dry!
88… Or grass grow.
87… But hey, you’re the one scrolling.
86… Look at you,
champion of the void!
85… Still going!
84… So close to the end!
83… Just a little
further.
82… Don’t stop now.
81… have something better to do ?
80… No.
79… That’s what I thought.
78… keep scrolling.
77… Keep pushing THESE pixels!
76… almost there.
75… This is what peak productivity looks like.
74… Let’s get to the finish!
73… Just a few more to go.
72… You must really enjoy this.
71… or have nothing else on your agenda.
70… Either way, we’re getting closer.
69… Nice.
68… Keep the scroll train rolling!
67… So close, you can almost taste thE END.
66… Come on!
65… Let’s keep it
moving.
64… What’s the goal of all this?
63… Seeking the
meaning of time?
62… Or just more scrolling?
61… Only time will tell.
60… You’re nearly halfway there!
59… Or are you just lost in digital
wasteland?
58… Almost at the
bottom.
57… Don’t stop now!
55… There was no 56—if you didn't notice!
54… The excitement of a traffic jam.
53… The suspense of a slow elevator.
52… It’s only going to get better, right?
51… Fifty-one Like the French pastis.
50… alleeeeeez !
49… This could be a
record!
48… Can you taste the finish line?
47… Or is it just the bitter aftertaste of that pastis?
46… Keep the scroll alive!
45… we’re Almost there!
44… It’s like waiting for a toaster… BUT forever.
43… You’re doing great, anyway!
42… So close.
41… It’s all in good fun!
40… Just a little longer.
39… Are you still with me?
37… Keep it up—don’t let the void win!
36… You’ve got this!
35… You deserve a medal in
procrastination!
34… Just a few more left.
33… close to the end!
32… You can do it!
31… JUST DO IT
30… It’s like the final credits of a
forgettable film!
29… don’t look back!
28… keep those fingers moving!
27… What’s next on your agenda?
26… Another scroll?
25… Have you clicked the Easter egg on 38?
24… There's nothing on 38. Hope you didn't scroll all the way up to check!
23… Keep going.
22… Actually, there is an Easter egg on 38.
21… BUT Never mind.
20… this is your new cardio!
19… The end is near!
18… THE apocalypse ?
17… This is it! hold onto your snacks!
16… Final scrolling!
15… like a rocket launch with no launchpad!
14… this is your
moment!
13… Just a few left!
12… Almost there!
11… Can you feel the excitement?
10… TEN!
9… Keep it up!
8… Eight!
7… Oh my god!
6… Six!
5… Are you crying ?
4… Four!
3… Three!
2… two!
1… ONe!
100… One hundreed.
99… Almost there!
Just kidding.
OK I’m afraid I can’t help you anymore.
Still here after all this TIME ?
You might just be a lost cause.
So, here’s the last
favor I can do for you.